High Times

Well- as I write this e-mail I am flying high in the air above well....let me check...it looks like we are a few hundred miles north of Alaska. Unfortunately- this won't post until some time later. But boredom has set in- and good gravy- I need to do something.

So- I'm 6 hours in to this ride. Only 8 hours to go. And that pains me. I have done long plane rides before- but- this one is pretty awful. For a few reasons.

Reason #1 Co-Pilot. Alright- not the actual co-pilot, but my dear neighbor next to me. Yes- he has a nick name. Mostly because I can't find out his real name. He doesn't speak English- which should not shock me or put me out. He is a not a 'bad man' by any means. He's just.....how should I put it. His seat over floweth- in to my seat. And he also is an amazing sleeper. And this makes me hate him. Why? Because I am not. Man- put me in a car, standing up in a closet, on a tile floor- and I would sleep. But unfortunately- the air plane seems to be the exception. I managed a whole half hour about 3 hours ago. But now I'm ansy. And he's trapped me in my seat. And I need to pee. I'm starting to think a swift elbow to his splein might be a good idea.

Reason #2 Video. Or lack there of. Yup- I got the one seat in the whole darn plane that doesn't have a working video screen. Nor does it have a working button to turn the light on or off. Or a working button to call a stewardess to complain about the working button. When I got on the plane the Stewardess told me that I must have bad voo-doo. Lemme tell you something: You do not tell somebody about to embark on a trans-Pacific 14 hour flight that they have bad voo-doo.

Reason #3 Turbulance. I have flown alot- but the first 3 hours of this flight were bumpy at best. Just non-stop shakey shakey up and down. They had to call all of the flight attendents to sit down at one point and my main girly BOOKED it for the seat. She almost knocked over co-pilot and then scolded him for not being in his seat. Also- I think I've watch far too much LOST and I'm sort of half expecting the plane to break apart at any moment. Luckily- from watching the series I know what to do. I'm in the tail part of the plane and I know to avoid any smoke monsters and find a dude named Jacob. If I can't get on Jacob's list there is a good chance I ain't make it to the series finale.

Reason #4 Bad Voo-doo. Yup. My flight attendant cursed me. And it's kinda been true. In addition to the obese non communicative neighbor, the broken down entertainment, the lack of being able to pee- they forgot to feed me. Yup. It's true. They were out of the 'pasta' option when they served lunch and he told me he would come back with it. And never did. I did get Co-Pilot to hit his 'help!' button- but they still never came! It wasn't until they came to collect the trays that I got a hold of one of them. He was very apologetic- but he didn't even hook it up with an extra roll. Poor form.

But you know me- I'm no Debbie Downer so here are some AWESOME Things about the last twelve hours. First and foremost I had the best send-off. I had my BFF, Joseph and my entire family in tow. My sister surprised me with AN AWESOME book about my travels. It made me boo-hoo. Then- while flying out of the US we flew OVER Niagra Falls. The captain announced, 'Please look out your right window for a great view of Baltimore.' I was confused because I felt as if we had been in the air for longer then that- and I did. And then I was doubly confused....it was definetly not Baltimore. Then I saw it. And it clicked. He hadn't said Baltimore at all. There it was: a giant horse shoe waterfall. It was breathtaking from above. More amazing is how much of it I could see from 20,000 ft. It wowed me- and it was GINORMOUS from the plane. It makes me want to go see it in person. Note to self- next summer road trip to Niagra! Who is in?
I think in about another 4 hours we get dinner...or lunch #2.

I'm very excited to arrive in China- and if you are reading this then it means I have landed in China. And I will be back on hopefully with photographs. Also- I haven't mentioned this- but I do have a SKYPE and if you would like to SKYPE with me then drop me a line and I will send you my user name.

Also- I am realizing that I need to have a 'signature sign off.' We're going to start testing out some oldies but goodies.

Over and out.

Part II

Well- I'm glad I took the time to record my thoughts and feelings earlier. Because we have a prime example of how wrong I am.

I don't have bad mojo at all.

#1 Co-pilot has a name. And turns out is a really sweet man who works for the Mongolian government. And he speaks English. (I need to remember not everybody like me feels a compulsion to talk!) We had a chat over meal #2.(Noodles and chopsticks!) And he was so nice- and articulate. Get this- he speaks English, Mongolian & Russian. How sweet is that? He talked to me about how Mongolians, being from a nomadic culture, pride themselves on being able to take care of oneself. Something, he noted, that the Chinese can not do. He also told me that the populatation of 2 million Mongols is dwarfed by the 50 million head of cattle in the country. So cool. Now as I study his face he looks Mongolian - like a sherpa out of the mountains.

#2 Good MoJo. We flew over the north pole- or close to it. And I got to see the arctic ocean. It looked like a piece of shattered glass- huge chunks of ice floating delicately with cracks of water barely peaking through. Then we flew over Serbia and over all these mountains that looked to me as if they could have been from an Alien land. Beautiful. And amazing. I'm so amped to get into Beijing now. AND- as I went to te bathroom for the 18th million time I stopped and chatted with one of the flight attendants. I mentioned to him how I was having trouble sleeping and that my monitor was out. He promptly handed me a voucher for a 'gift of my choice' to repay me for the inconvience and apologized profusely. Sure- I didn't get to watch Date Night- but I feel repayed.

Alright. Signing off. Again.

Good night and good luck.

Part III Arrived SAFELY!!!!!!