Monday, June 6, 2011

The Fear of Home

Well. Here we are, 28 days and counting. I will be back home and officially ( again ) a resident of the US of A.

At moments I am so FRICKEN' excited to come home. I think about July 6th and get so excited. But it usually is then washed over with a mix of other emotions. Fear- fear of not knowing what my job will be. Or where I'll be living. Or if I'll even have a job. Also- I've removed myself from my friends for a year. Life had marched on- and things change. You feel those pains being out here, that you missed so much. I mean, I look at Eamon and Ainslee. They've grown so much and they're so young. I've missed some big moments with them.
The last major emotion is sadness. I really do like it here. My life is really really good. I have a great circle of friends, I have a great extra curricular, I have a great apartment. It's hard to just leave it all behind. Also- now that I finally have more time, I have time and means to travel. I didn't get to see Japan, Vietnam or Korea. I didn't get to explore Tibet or Hong Kong.

As I type this Jilly is pumping the air out of her last space bag. This is the official Beginning of the End.

2 comments:

  1. Do not fear the Fairfax; you will find friendly people who will welcome you back with open arms...Love Ma

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  2. Awww, this post is going to make me cry. E and A will not even remember your year away when they are bigger. You will be (and are) a huge part of their life. We can't wait for you to get back. I totally understand your feelings. I am sad that we never got to visit you when you were living there. See you soon!

    Love you!

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