Got Your Goat

As a teacher it's really hard when a student "got your goat." To all my former students who may be reading, know this: teachers hate disciplining their students. Believe me, every teacher, when they decided on the career path of teaching would imagine themselves in the classroom enlightening and engaging young minds. They believed that they would be such an amazing teacher that they would NEVER have to discipline anybody because their students would be so self-motivated and inspired they would NEVER be off-task.

 

Reality check comes like 5-minutes into your secondary practicum. And I can say for the most part- I did not live a disciplining nightmare.  But- I did not teach a disciplining-free career.

 

But the hardest part of being a teacher is when you see a smart, capable student screwing up and not doing their work.  You always start out taking them aside and kindly ask them to get their act together. And if the student doesn't start getting their act together then you have to have the "reality" talk. The "listen I'm not sugar coating it and I'm not asking." And then there is the day that they really get your goat. 

 

Today- a worker at Romp n' Roll Wuhan got my goat.

 

The first day I was here I was greeted at Romp n' Roll by Candy and Jerry. Candy is my assistant. She is a really hard worker and even though her English isn't perfect she constantly works at making it better. She is always happy and always thinking. Jerry was in sales. But the day I showed up we had to move a lot of gym equipment and set the gym up. Jerry is the only boy who works at our company and even though he probably weighs 120 lbs SOAKING WET he helped us move all the equipment. It turned out his English wasn't that bad. AND it turned out he loved to sing. He also had this really amazing energy and was just bright eyed and bushy tailed.  He decided he wanted to try to train to be an assistant.

 

The managers at Romp n' Roll gave him 1 month to learn to be an assistant, which really means they gave ME 1 month to train him. One thing I told him from Day 1 is that for him to be a successful assistant his English was going to have to improve. He was going to have to live, eat, sleep and BREATHE the English language. And that if he did not understand me HE was going to have to stop me and have me repeat.

 

I also explained to him that in the next month he was going to have to work harder then he is use to.  Much harder. But if he did work really hard he was would have no problem becoming an assistant. In addition to improving his English skills he was going to have to learn how to sing songs in English, learn how to translate, learn all about pre-k children, and how to teach/interact with them.

 

Well- Jerry's excitement for being promoted into the education department took one week before it had waned.  It took until this week before my energy for helping him learn had waned.  He is always the LAST to show up when we're flipping the gym or cleaning the art room. He pretends to understand- until I stop and ask him a question to check for understanding. Then he asks me to repeat. I don't mind repeating myself or re-explaining a concept. But what I CAN'T do is psychically know that the person I am training DOESN'T understand something. AND If I'm not FOLLOWING him around making sure he is working then he is NOT working. I've pulled him aside 3 times and given him warning. I've talked candidly to him about the likely hood of his success with out more effort. I usually got an apology and an excuse, and a promise that tomorrow would be different.

 

Now, in addition to training Jerry, I have been: interviewing possible assistants, doing total TRM inventory, re-painting murals, writing training schedules, writing Oral English lessons, setting up equipment, ordering materials, organizing materials, and TEACHING.  Also, since I have no Internet at home I have no contact with the outside world OUTSIDE of work.  So I have to schedule business meetings & personal meetings.  So- it is not as if I am blessed with a plethora of time.

 

One major hurdle in training people in their second language is teaching them the songs.  So- since my first week here I have been going over the Spring Session songs EVERY day with the education department. And they had to learn all the songs by yesterday. They have the song print outs and the MP3's of somebody singing them.

 

On Thursday we did one LAST review of the songs with a reminder that TOMORROW was a test. I gave Jerry one last "you need to get your act together speech." On Friday, Candy passed with flying colors. Jerry knew 1 of the 6 songs I tested him on. I was PO'd. He had promised that he was going to work extra hard. He gave me some excuses. I told him he had 24 hours to learn the songs.

 

And today, he knew 2 of the 6 songs. And I lost my cultural grace.  (CUE THE GOAT) He apologized for FAILING his test for a second time and I said that he need not apologize to me. I told him that he needed to apologize his managers.  Then I asked him to go apologize to the managers in front of me. Because he needed to understand that I am not the one paying him. That it is his managers who get to decide whether he has earned his job and his PAY as an educator.  That they have trusted him to work harder and earn this position and he hasn't done this.

 

In Chinese there are two terms for friends. There is (excuse the spelling) Pone-yo.  And then there is Tong-yo. Pone-yo translates roughly that means somebody who says something nice. This idea is transferred into Chinese culture. They would never say something negative about somebody- or point out another's failures.  They never want to say NO to you because that would not be "nice." This is where I failed Jerry. I was not his Pone-yo.

 

Then there is Tong-yo which means a good friend who doesn't always say nice things, but who tells you the truth. Which is rare and harder to find in China. I'd like to believe that what I said to Jerry came from a place that wanted him to succeed. That maybe this last wake up call will be the one that helps him succeed.

 

I feel awful and guilty for laying into Jerry. I feel like I did not go about it the right way. But at the same time- I feel as if I care enough about him to tell him that what he is going is setting himself up for failure. I just. I regret going about it the way I did. But at the same time I feel like I begged him every other way. And he is 20 years old. He is a man. And I am not his mother. I should not have to chase him around to work.

 

I guess my conclusion of this post should be…I wish there was no goat.