It got me thinking- I have been living in a different culture for 180 days....I have completely and totally embraced this Beijing world. I have even attempted to assimilate myself. In essence- I have been attempting to be Chinese. But now I'm faced with a problem and a reality: I need to re-educate myself in my native customs. So- here's a list for myself of do's and don'ts for any Chinese person coming to America. Also- this is a refresher course for myself.
1. No hocking of loogie(s). I won't say that this is a custom that I partake in. But it is a VERY Chinese thing to do. It's "unhealthy" to swallow spit- so you have to get rid of it any way you can. Which most often is anywhere you see fit (the sidewalk, the train platform, etc) you dislodge your loogie in the loudest most obnoxious way possible. Make sure the person down the road can hear it. But (thankfully!!!) in America, people keep their loogies to themselves.
2. No slurping of food. In China, another way of saying yum. Also a quick and easy way to cool down your tong (soup) or tea. America=Rude, crude, uncivilized.
3. No cutting in line. American's frown upon the idea that sometimes some people are really in more of a hurry. You cut in line you might get cussed at or worse....not in sunny down town Bei Jing. You gotta be somewhere quick: get ahead of me. I won't smile about it- but I won't hex you either.
4. Stand at least 18 inches from the person in front of yourself. Obviously- with 1 billion people the personal space bubble is smaller. Coming back to America people do not like feeling encroached upon. Step back- Saplick!
5. No pushing. Pushing just happens in China- whether it be getting on or off the subway or getting through a crowd of people. It's not rude- it's survival. In America- nto so understood.
6. Do not throw your food scraps on the table. In China we pay somebody to scrub the table- so that's where scraps go.
7. You cannot negotiate price. I have fallen in love with bartering. Everybody wins! You leave feeling accomplished, with something, and you feel like it's a fair price. But the good ol' U S of A is a the land of set prices. Like it or not.
8. While driving: do not honk at EVERYTHING. Here in Beijing, you see a couple of people near the side walk: Honk. Another car turning: Honk. Leaves blowing in the wind: Honk. A stick in the road: Honk. A pedestrian 50m from an intersection: Honk. You are having a bad day: Honk.
9. Bring your food to you- not the other way around. In China they pay honor to their food by taking themselves to food- not the food to them. I may no longer bring my face to my plate and chow down. I also can no longer let food hang out of my mouth. Damn Western Manners!
10. Throw your TP in the toilet. In China we use the trashcan for all paper waste. Stinky, yes. But in America it all goes down.
11. Dessert comes last. Always. We don't really have set 'courses' aka appetizers, dessert, main course- come out whenever they damn please. This will be something that I will not mind readjusting too.
12. Pay your bill afterwards. You order all at once in BeiJing. You pay first thing. As soon as you are done- get the hell outta dodge!
13. Take your time eating. In America we enjoy hanging out, enjoying the meal, and not rushing through and getting out of there. (Are you sensing a theme of efficiency)
14. There are other utensils other then chopsticks and spoons. Use them.
15. Fashion is no longer 'whatever goes.' I sadly, will have to start coordinating my outfits. But I was starting to believe plaid and houndstooth went together!
16. You do NOT have to answer your cell phone. It will go to voicemail. Whaddya mean? I don't have to sprint across the office, pushing co-workers out of the way, knocking over small-children and dive into my purse to answer my cellphone?? Dropping whatever I was doing in the process?
17. Say 'Bless you!' when people sneeze. Here we laugh at sneezes. You know...cuz they're funny....
18. People will now understand what you say. Edit your conversations in public accordingly. Jill and I abuse this way too much on public transportation. We talk about whatever we want, or who ever we want...in front of whoever. The fact that we get stared at all the time, in a weird way, can be freeing. You start acting goofier because it doesn't matter. You are already getting stared at! Might as well give them something to stare at.... cue Jill doing the Alice the Camel dance down the subway train.
i think the loogie one is the most important. don't do that. but the laughing at people while they sneeze... okay. i like that one.
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